“This has not been an easy decision to do this to Mr. Leal, but I think it’s justified.” Those were the words of San Diego Superior Court Justice The Honorable Runston G. Maino as he sentenced me to life in prison for being an ex-felon in possession of a firearm. You’d think that hearing a judge say those words would have alerted me to the fact that I had a serious problem, but at the time I was so busy trying to find a way out of jail that I didn’t realize why I was in jail to begin with.

I spent the next 10-12 years of my incarceration filing appeals, writing writs, and making a host of misguided claims about Judge Maine’s erroneous application of the Three Strikes Law. I failed every time. With each failure I grew more and more bitter because the way I saw it, the whole purpose of Three Strikes was to target violent career criminals, and since I’d only been to prison once in my entire life, I felt I didn’t deserve such a harsh sentence. As far as I was concerned I was a victim of the system. This whole idea of being a victim of the system was something I clung to and often found myself gathering information to not only support my position but also convince others that I was right. During one such episode, I was on the phone complaining to a friend about how screwed up the system was and how bad of a job I thought Judge Maino did on my case. My friend heard all of this before. He listened to me bitch and moan for a few minutes then cut me off and said, “Dude, you need to quit blaming everyone else and look at yourself…the judge didn’t put you in prison, you did!” I tried to argue him down and get him to commiserate with me but he was having none of it. Tempers flared and we ended the call with him telling me not to call him again until I got my shit together. THAT HURT!!! My initial reaction was to get defensive and blame him for not being a real friend but no matter how I tried to spin it I couldn’t escape the fact that he was right.

The truth of my friend’s words cut straight through all of my b.s. and forced me to look at the role I played in bringing myself to prison. I was the one who robbed the restaurant and went to prison in 1991. I was the one who left prison in 1994 and chose to hang out with the same people and do some of the same things that contributed to me going to prison in the first place. I was the one who had a firearm in the trunk of my car when I was pulled over on July 9,1994. Nobody else did that …I did that. Accepting all of that for the first time was a defining moment in my life. In that moment of clarity I realized I wasn’t just the problem, I was also the solution. In the days that followed I spent time both mourning the life I had so carelessly given up, and kicking myself for the stupidity I displayed for blaming others for the choices I made. That was a time of despair for me but when God wakes us up he always shows us a way forward, and this time was no different.

Since then, my life and time in prison have new meaning. Today I am no longer bound by denial, instead I am inspired by the truth. I realize I can’t take away the pain I caused in the lives of my victims, their families, and their community. However, what I can do is use that pain as a constant reminder of my responsibility to do everything in my power to be a better human being today. A big part of that responsibility revolves around being honest with myself at all times and recognizing that by sharing my experience with others, I can help them avoid making the same kinds of bad choices I made. Perhaps I can even curb the cycle of crime/violence in our communities.

This year, 2012, marks by 18th year in prison. I have no idea when I will be released, but despite all of the uncertainty, in my heart of hearts, I know am already free…free to learn, free to grow, and free to show the world who I am today through my actions, beliefs, and my integrity. I cannot change what I did in the past, but I do have control over how I treat people today and in the future.

Kenyatta Leal

Partially excerpted from the organization’s website

TRUST is an acronym for “Teaching Responsibility Utilizing Sociological Training.” The program is run out of San Quentin Prison under the sponsorship of Kathleen Jackson  — a very dedicated teacher and mentor — and it seeks to convert men in prison from liabilities into assets by conducting workshops (and engaging in other positive behaviors)  that target their criminal value systems. According to the group’s website, “We therefore aim to replace that value system with a new system that promotes positive, life affirming behavior among [ourselves] the men in prison.”

 The organization also sponsors cultural celebrations that promote and reinforce its core guiding principles, which are also taught within the workshop settings. Additionally, the group sponsors health fairs and fundraising events as they seek to help men to begin to accept responsibility for the actions that landed them in prison in the first place and teaches them how to make amends. Their goal is to cognitively restructure themselves while behind bars so they become assets to themselves, their families and their communities upon release. 

According to the website the San Quentin TRUST was “established by a group of incarcerated educated men who have enhanced their value system from their former criminal lifestyle while they are still incarcerated. With assistance by Dr. Garry Mendez, these men, through their hard work and determination, created a program at San Quentin that was validated and deemed a functioning program of the prison on August 11, 2003. With the help of staff sponsors and community support, the San Quentin TRUST has become a group of incarcerated men who have taken responsibility to rehabilitate themselves.”

TRUST’s core educational principle is its asset-based training. The program develops long-term prisoners into peer mentors who assist other men in changing negative behaviors and thought patterns by reinforcing positive ones … turning liabilities into assets. Its mission is to enhance and change the value systems criminals bring to prison:  from criminal behavior to a sense of respect. By building a bridge of communication with their communities for a successful reentry, they ultimately decrease crime and recidivism and improve public safety with the quality of life. Program mentors are called TRUST Fellows.

The men of the San Quentin TRUST recognize that many of those returning to society from prison can often become liabilities and their goal is to change that paradigm … to train and guide other prisoners as they make the same changes to their own lives.

The goal is to foster the development of a positive sense of self-worth; to commit to turning liabilities into assets; and to develop the necessary skills to become responsible and successful citizens. The mentors also assist men in their development by showing how values determine lifestyle and behavior through the examination of one’s own and others’ histories and cultures.

TRUST works toward these goals by teaching a year-long, three-part curriculum to the mainline population of inmates in San Quentin. This curriculum is taught in a series of weekly workshops on Thursday afternoons. The program provides a safe environment that creates and allows men the opportunity to purge negative thoughts and behaviors.

The workshops are offered in a six-module, 27-unit series in order to assist and prepare incarcerated men. These workshops are prepared and delivered by TRUST Fellows in collaboration with volunteers and other area specific professionals, who provide research and facilitation support. TRUST Fellows offer peer-to-peer training on each topic, aiding and educating their fellow prisoners in bettering themselves and preparing them for reentry.

The six modules are Internal Work, Health, Relationships, Organizational Skills/In the Workplace, Parole Preparation and Re-Entry. Each of the modules takes approximately one month. Many of the men in the program are lifers, so gauging how successful the program is in terms of reducing recidivism is difficult. But Jackson said, that to her knowledge, of the few men that have gone through the program and were released, none has ever returned to prison.

In a 2010 interview with Marin Magazine she stated, “… working with these men has shown me that here is an amazingly talented population that is mostly ignored or forgotten. The men I work with … have done a lot of work on themselves and, to my way of thinking, would make the community a safer place if they were outside. Why? Because they have worked on themselves for a very, very long time; they have dealt with their anger and they’ve dealt with their liabilities and worked to turn them into abilities, or assets. They understand the population that gets into trouble much better than those in law enforcement, political positions or the everyday citizen. Many of those I am with say that if they ever get out, they want to work with at-risk young people and they would be very good at it.”

Our visit to San Quentin to speak with the TRUST program was very interesting. 
I had an idea of what it was going to be like before going and the actual experience was
much different.  The stories we heard from the inmates gave me a different perspective on
society and the way our justice system works.  Many people who become incarcerated
are from low economic areas and are forced into gangs.  Many also drop out of school
and fall into the pressures of violence.  The story that stuck out to me the most was
David’s because he was so open with his experience.  I appreciated the opportunity to
hear his story.  Also, I believe that the TRUST program at San Quentin is doing a great
thing for the inmates.  It gives them a chance to change their lives and feel better about
themselves.  It is important for people in society to understand that inmates are not what
the media explains them to be.  Therefore, this experience changed my beliefs on the
prison system.  I thought it was interesting when they said that the staff is not exactly the
best choice to be telling the inmates what to do.  I laughed when they told the story of
how it took four officers to try to work a digital camera.  This just shows that the system
is flawed.  The TRUST program is a good way for the inmates to come together and
make people believe that not everything they hear on the news is true.  When they said
that they put together many programs (the Richmond program), I thought it was a good
thing.  The idea that they are helping others inside of prison, shows that anyone can make
a difference no matter if they made bad choices.  Thus, this trip was a good experience
that I will never forget and I learned a lot.