Responses from Lesson 4
Active Listening
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In their own words, the Fellows reflect on the impact the
T.R.U.S.T. Program has had on them.
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"It is more difficult to be a listener, not only that, it took me many years to accept and admit that I used to be very concerned how people would respond or react to what I said. I often worried about what people thought so I just said what were the "right things" or tried not to offend or go against others."
Family phone call: “I feel devastated because every time I called, they’re still stuck with who I was and what I did in the past. ...opening old wounds...I called the phone booth ‘the stress box’ and I tried not to get near it because it will pull me down”
“Being quiet and listening to someone else babble, you never know what you might learn.”
"It felt good to be listened to and understood. One gets the feeling of being on the same page and with a connection made."
"I have learned by being an active listener, because I put myself in that person's situations, to understand what they are feeling at that moment, to focus just on them."
"I came to realize that I am often distracted or concerned about my own thoughts when people are talking. I now practice being attentive to the speaker mostly because I know how I feel when I'm not being listened to."
“I find out, when I’m not talking, the other person feels comfortable to freely speak up about anything.”
Family phone call: “It was extremely awkward because in the past I would tune my family out or avoid emotional conversations. Unfortunately, my family is only good at expressing and relating to being angry.”
“I can say in all the years I been living, I never really felt heard by anyone, not even my mom”.
Family phone call: “It felt good! He kept saying “are you there”. I said, “I’m listening.”
"There's a lot of unspoken and hidden pain and sorrow, emptiness and loneliness even in the most macho words."
“Body language is important. People say one thing and the body language could be saying something else.”
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